Funny Quotes About Work..
Looking for funny work quotes? Here are some of our best for you to enjoy…
“Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.”
~ Doug Larson ~
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
~ Homer Simpson ~
“Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn’t it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn’t do coke goes to Columbia.”
~ Jay Leno ~
“Someone once told me, if the first two numbers in your salary are higher than your age, then you are doing ok. I must be a real high flyer then, I made at least $90 last year!”
~ Funny Facts Finder ~
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.”
~ Dennis Miller ~
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
~ Drew Carey ~
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
~ Edgar Bergen ~
“Apparently, 35% of the content on the average resume is untrue. Well this backs up my claims of being an over-achiever, as I made up 60% of mine.”
~ Funny Facts Finder ~
“Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.”
~ Malcolm S. Forbes ~
“People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.”
~ Ogden Nash ~
“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ‘em, “Certainly, I can!” Then get busy and find out how to do it.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt ~
“Anyone who says they love their boss is either lying or self-employed.”
~ Funny Facts Finder ~
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.”
~ Al Capp ~
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.”
~ Homer Simpson ~
“I only go to work on days that don’t end in a ‘y’.”
~ Robert Paul ~
“When I am unemployed, all I want is a job. When I have a job, all I want is to be unemployed. So I got a job at the employment benefit office, I just change sides of the desk when I am feeling the strain.”
~ Funny Facts Finder ~
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”
~ Muhammad Ali ~
“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.”
~ Gene Perret ~
“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
~ Jerome K Jerome ~
“If your kids are bullied at school, teach them to say thank you and compliment the aggressor on how effective they were. This will be the best preparation for the world of work and their future career will benefit from the experience.”
~ Funny Facts Finder ~