Funny Wedding Quotes in 2011

Looking for funny quotes about weddings? Here are some of our best for you to enjoy…

 

 

“He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, “You’re the boss.”

~ Unknown ~

 

“Marriage requires a person to prepare 4 types of “Rings”: Engagement Ring Wedding Ring, Suffering, Enduring.”

~ Unknown ~

 

“What does the wedding have in common with the wedding cake? It’s sickly sweet, filled with lots of nuts that you don’t really like, and soaked in cheap alcohol”.

~ Funny Facts Finder ~

 

“The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.”

~ Unknown ~

 

“I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband.  I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.”

~ Marie Corelli ~

 

“At a wedding, there’s always one drunk old guy playing air guitar with his tie around his head and his flies undone. Or so my wife tells me…I can never remember that late on in the evening.”

~ Funny Facts Finder ~

 

“Before marriage a man will lay awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage he’ll fall asleep before you have finished saying it.”

~ Helen Rowland ~

 

“Why does a woman work for 10 years to change a man’s habits, and then complain he’s not the man she married?”

~ Barbara Streisand ~

“Question 1 – Do you take this woman to be you lawfully wedded wife? Question 2 – Do you swear to tell the truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth? Both have the answer “I do”. One is getting married, the other is going to prison. Coincidence?“

 ~ Funny Facts Finder ~

 

“Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight”.

~ Georg C. Lichtenberg ~

 

“I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?”

~ Jerry Seinfeld ~

 

“My wife told me I should be more affectionate. I would do anything to make her happy, so I got myself a girlfriend too.”

~ Funny Facts Finder ~

 

“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.”

~ Billy Connolly ~

“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

~ Rita Rudner ~

“I always want to sit on the kids table at weddings. They can eat chicken nuggets, complain about how boring it is and go and play outside – and nobody gets offended.”

~ Funny Facts Finder ~

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